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  • Writer's pictureAurynHadley

Sexy Alpha Males – or not

He is man, hear him roar.  We all love the alpha male.  He’s that dominant warrior, the decisive instigator, the one who takes charge when the going gets tough.  Alpha males aren’t just a staple in romance, they’re in just about every genre from batman to Fifty Shades of Grey.

They’re also shallow.

I’ve mentioned before that I like my male heroes to be a bit more than a bank account and six pack abs.  I also like them to THINK.  I like men who are decisive but respect those who can run through all the options before coming to a decision.  Even sexier is the man who can admit when he’s wrong.

But we don’t glamorize that.  We hold up the icons of medieval chivalry.  We cheer for such brainless acts as holding a door but roll our eyes at shows of sensitivity.  Have a problem?  Just beat it into submission, intimidate it with money, or, um, bully it a little?  I mean, isn’t that how so many alpha males are written?

Not all.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen some amazing examples – but the vast majority of them are just jerks.  It’s like the only way we know to show strength is through cruelty.

But lately, I’ve been helping my close friend Kitty Cox with her upcoming book.  Her hero is a cowboy, and a hot one!  He’s dominant but knows his place.  Her heroine is a strong-willed woman with not only a mind of her own, but the finances and connections to be self-sufficient.  She likes him, but for reasons besides his sexy body, lack of money, or overbearing manliness.  She likes him because he’s got a heart of gold.

It’s been refreshing.  This cowboy is a gentleman.  He holds the door, buys dinner, and tips his hat all while losing absolutely nothing to her strength.  Granted, I’m a bit annoyed that my alpha read of her book just ended in the middle, but WOW!  Why can’t we see more icons of masculinity like THIS?

And I think it’s because we just don’t know any better.  We’re so used to the tried and true tropes, but to quote Chance from Flawed, “they’re also tired.”  Pushing the boundaries of acceptable sometimes means harkening back to a day and age when people treated each other a bit nicer.  Sometimes, being the man means taking the shit kicking so someone else doesn’t have to.  Sometimes, being a hero isn’t about flexing, it’s about thinking, feeling, and shutting the hell up.

And so, I’m looking for some books with hot as sin alpha males that aren’t jerks.  Prefer romance, fantasy, science fiction or modern drama (contemporary fiction).  Feel free to tweet or DM me (@aurynhadley), message me on facebook (, reply here, or drop me an email with anything you might have.  I’m always up for indie authors and DO leave reviews – but honest ones.  Hoping y’all have some suggestions, because I’m gonna need something to hold me over!

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